The French reeking of shitheadness

I've been entirely too busy watching the world cup to give a shit about the republic of shithead. I will most likely compile a collective of shitheads after the tourney is through. I pray that Maradonna tops the list with a series of shenanigans I couldn't even dream up.

Let's focus on the French for a sec.

The French love being shitheads. Thats pretty general I guess. I met a dude named Jean Pierre at G-Land that was cool. JP broke 3 boards in one sesh. jaime deux sans trois! I think I just used JP to name drop a G-Land trip I once took to sound cool. JP was mellow and not a shithead. Weak name drop matias, you dickhead.

Lets run through some french shitheads real quick. All making the team for various reasons

Zidane- World Cup Winner. Genius on the ball. 80's high school movie head butt at the poolside fight scene. Thumbs up
Dom - 2010 WC meltdown like no other. No hand shake for the Saffa's Brazilian coach. Thumbs up
Ribery - underaged prossies. Thumbs up
Gasp- He wont tell me but I think he got arrested in Denver for some Ribery/Zidane and Dom shit all rolled up into one. Thumbs up

Drum machines have no soul

This drummer is what dreams are made of.

Keith Moon + Weird Al =

Shithead 'MOM' Tattoo Criteria Explained. Finally

Last weekend a Local member of the City of Torrance Shithead Branch asked me if his "Mom" tattoo qualified as a shithead thing to do. Or maybe he asked me if it would land him on the blog. Actually I was pretty drunk and don't remember what the fuck this piece of shit asked me but either way my answer is. MAYBE

It all boils down to why you got the 'Mom' tattoo in the first place. Did you do something shitty to your madre and felt like you needed to make up for it with a grand gesture? If you got the tattoo for one of the following reasons then the 'mom' tattoo qualifies as you an official shithead.

- If you stole over $1000.00 from you mom
- If you stole your mom's car and drove it to Mexico to smuggle back drugs only to get it blown up by the cartel.
- If you filmed a porno in your mom's car and didn't clean up afterwards. (before the Mex trip?)
- If you got the tattoo because you harbor freudian-esque emotions towards your mom. Still holds true if you are adopted. Not illegal but frowned upon.
- If you got the tattoo to get a bigger cut on the will then your siblings.
- If you have two mom's and wanted to confuse them as to which Mom you were referring to.
- If you stole your mom's jewelry and gave it your your girlfriend.

Bonus*- If the tattoo's location is on your upper thigh or lower back then you are a shithead.
- If the tattoo was done with a hot hanger and ink then you are definitely a shithead. Top Level shithead status if done in jail.


I hope this clears up this matter.